All set out!

Caption: The first six months of Mini Bites.


Caption: The 2nd installation of Mini Bites.

From right sidebar to left sidebar, from playful banner to a colourful one - I am proud to announce that Mini Bites will be celebrating its First Anniversary tomorrow!! Gosh, though Mini Bites is only one year old, I can't believe that I have been blogging since 2002. Even harder to believe that I actually have about 1,000 hits per month, which is 30 hits per day. I am happy enough knowing that a handful of people check out my blog occasionally. Even happier to know that I have found a friend in all of you.

Quick updates:
1.) The key chains are on their way to the respective winners (hopefully you guys like it). Praying that it won't get lost in the mail.
2.) My family will be leaving for Singapore tomorrow without me (that's the biggest gift for me cause I'll have more time to spend on myself and blogging).
3.) Tomorrow is public holiday!!! Woohooo! More time to browse through your blogs while I daydream about my stories.
4.) Preparing more food photos for tomorrow post since it's going to be such a special day for Mini Bites.
5.) Thinking if I should create a new banner for Mini Bites as well, since it's a holiday. Time to take my mind off work. Oh wait, I forgot, I got a stupid corporate profile to be completed by tomorrow night. Bummer!

Mini Bites of the day: If you look at each day at a time, you may not see what you have achieved. But if you look at a short period of time, you would be able to judge how far you have gone.

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Grandma thinks she is 18

Cmate: Why lately you wouldn't want to get out of the house? Every time I call to ask you out, you decline. Must go out and breathe in some fresh air, good for your body.

Grandma: Eighteen years old like me don't have to go anywhere. You know, I am ninety two this year. Yet everyone who comes and sees me says I am bluffing them.

Cmate: That's because you look young.

Grandma: Nowadays, walk abit already tired. If I follow you guys out, I'll be panting trying to keep pace with all.

Cmate: Then you walk slowly, I walk with you. No body rushes you, so you won't pant lor.

Grandma: So troublesome to others like that.

Cmate: Now don't walk, when wanna walk? Wait until cannot walk, then only regret issit?

Grandma: Suddenly wanna go Carrefour buy some stuff. Hmmm...

Cmate: Come, we go now. Still have an hour before I have to go home for dinner.

Grandma: Now after 5pm, traffic jam. So many people somemore.

Cmate: Then tomorrow I come and bring you go.

Grandma: No need. Got people come and visit me say I am like eighteen years old, I damn happy already. Don't need to talk to prove it.

Cmate: I must come and usher you, then only you go out with me. Must persuade you, then only you go out. Every time also like that.

Grandma: So old already me, no need to go out la.

Cmate: We go Carrefour some other time ya... I call before I come, make sure you go. Otherwise, I won't be happy.

Grandma: Ish!

Note: Dropped by at Grandma's house after work today. She keeps nagging me to look for a proper job. I thought being a scriptwriter is a proper job but apparently to some, it is not. Sigh!

Mini Bites of the day: He sees a square, she sees a circle, you see a triangle and all I saw was a shape.

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I feel for you

I'm not sure what made me say it,
But somehow deep inside I'm glad I did.
I don't usually say such things,
Don't usually voice out my feelings,
A little afraid of rejection,
A little afraid of losing people,
And a little afraid of everything else.

So when those words left my thoughts,
And came into your hearing,
I know I’ve just make another person upset,
I’ve just hurt another child of God.
But somehow, I think God is proud of me,
For finally having the courage to share,
To be transparent before you,
To let you understand and just be there.

I’m upset every time you are.
If you’re upset because of me,
It brings such a deep grief into my heart,
And I would just sit down silently at a corner,
Letting those tears form in my eyes.
Never understood why you grieved for me once,
But now I know the reason behind that,
As I began to love you more each day.

When you are low, I am down.
When you are sad, I cry a silent tear.
When you’re hurt, I am blue.
And if I am the one hurting you,
My heart feels painful as scars begin to form,
Slashes of scars that will always remind me,
Of the day that I break your heart, or make you sad,
And of all the hurtful things that I’ve done to you.
I’m just a kid, what can I do?
Can I bring joy into your life,
As much as you have brought to mine?
Can I bring laughters into your life,
As much as you have brought into mine?
I just want to see the sparkles in your eyes,
Every time I am around you,
Knowing that they’ll let me know somehow,
How you are feeling inside.

Are you happy with me?
Are you glad to be by my side?
Are you enjoying the time we spend together?
Your gestures and eyes tell, you don’t.
If I can, I’ll remain those sparkles in your eyes,
Never letting them fade away or dim.
But I’m not sure I can do it,
I’m just a kid!I feel for you, dear!
I really do.
At times, I wished I could make you laugh more,
At times, I wished I could turn your frown into a smile,
At times, I wished I could understand you better,
And know you deep inside a little bit more.
But what can I do?
I’m just a kid!
I really wished I could do more for you.

I’m a kid who loves you much,
A kid who wants to make a difference,
Not only in your life,
But in the lives of others.
May I bless God’s people each day.
May I bring blessings to you,
Much more than I bring pain.
And may you always know this:
That I truly feel for you, dear!
I really do.

Originally written by Gina Yap Lai Yoong

Mini Bites of the day: Love is the strangest emotion as you lose total control of yourself to be in love with someone else.

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Lazy Sunday

Found this at Alice's blog. Thought it is kinda cool to find out how complicated Mini Bites may be. Turns out, even Junior High School kids will be able to read what I am blogging about. That explains why 25% of my readers are still in high school. I should write an article on How To Cheat In Exams Without Really Cheating. That should be a blog hit box post. Hehehe!

Today has been lazy Sunday. Spent the entire morning in church having fun with active children who were clinging all over me. We are teaching a group of six years old how to play melody with bells. The bells play do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti, specially designed to do just that so that we can line up the children in order and get them to play a melody. Lots of patience required, trust me. All of them were just excited with the bells and kept ringing them without listening to the melody.

Then there were the four years old kids, the active ones that are smart enough to use words like 'master bedroom' and 'condominium'. They are the ones who run to you and talk about their parents at home and kindergarten story. Listening to them break my heart sometimes but being a friend to the kids is the most wonderful thing in the world. Being with them remind me that a child-like mind is what I strive for every day.

After lunch, I slept through the evening waking up only for dinner. Now, I am working on those key chains which I am supposed to give away to the winners. Mom said I designed them badly this time, probably because I was lacking of materials. Oh well, it's the personal touch that counts, right?

Will be watching a local movie on TV later on. So ya, it's been a lazy Sunday but I am glad because tomorrow will be a totally different one. It would be Exciting Mondays and I just love Mondays. It's the beginning of a new week, adventure and everything else. And somehow I hope things turn out well at work with Froggie. Fingers crossed.

Mini Bites of the day: A child-like mind is what we all should have so that the world would be a simpler place to live in.

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Dream.... dream...

Every man has his own special dream,
And the dream is just about to come true.
Life is not as bad as it seems,
If you open your eyes to what is in front of you.
*sings* All you have to do is dream!!

This is one song that uplifts my spirit whenever I feel like giving up on my dreams. Dreamgirls is one movie which I could watch over and over again whenever I need a booster in my life. It reminds me of the dreams I have, of how difficult life could be, of how painful it is when people put me down, of how hard it is to walk on when no one believes in me, of how strong I have to be in standing up for my dreams even if it means standing alone. Certainly, if I lose the drive of my life again, I'll have to remind myself that I have dreams and running after them is all I should do in order not to be lost in life.

Today was one of those days when I stood at the border of my life looking ahead of me at the open doors and windows. Boldly, I marched across the line and embarked on a new journey towards my dream. I want my dreams to be heard but now is not the time. It's preparation time. And prepare I shall.

Met a lot of different people today from all walks of life. I'm totally excited with meeting new people because they become my case study. Did I mentioned that I have a fetish for studying human? My ex-editor used to joke, "Be careful with what you say or how you behave in front of Gina because I think she is writing a portfolio of us - she said so!"

Oh yes, I do have a collection of portfolio of the people I meet but only for good intentions: They are my inspiration when I need to create a character for my writing. So if you ever read my stories and think that person sounds partially like you, it probably is. I don't like raw. I think taking a real person and putting him/her in fiction is injustice. Usually, I extract certain characteristics which attract me and add in some of my own to come out with my characters.

I was at a forum today. It was pretty cool but I have to say I was among the only Chinese in the crowd. Doesn't tick me off though cause I have gotten used to it. The last time I went for a writing workshop by Karnadya, I was the only Chinese girl (stood out like a swollen thumb). Makes me wonder why I always have to be the one standing out like a swollen thumb. Then again, I don't mind the attention. Just love it when I start speaking Malay and people look at me like aliens.

So ya... today has been a great day. Draggy and lengthy, but great in the sense that I think I am back on track again. And it feels good. Really good. Good evening, people!

Mini Bites of the day: Listen to your heart, to the melody your soul is writing and sing it out loud.

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Tomorrow is the day!

The excitement has leveled down a little throughout the week but I am still looking forward for tomorrow, for the new adventure, for the new embarkment (praying I won't give up half way), for the new season in my life. I just know it's going to be exciting, challenging and definitely something new to me. All new things are not necessary good but I am sure I would welcome the challenge.

Froggie gave me a day off today. Because the approval came from his lips, I gladly took off my working/thinking cap for once and just leaned back to empty my mind. Didn't check my emails till after dinner. Screw my clients if they wanted anything from me by today cause Cmate is on holiday. The only way to rest and refresh my mind is to think of nothing work related. I've got to admit, I did thought about my email box while I was having lunch with my mom.

Had breakfast with my family this morning before making our way to my aunt's place to listen to her story of her trip to Japan. Laughed hard at the part where everyone has to go into the spa naked. Yes, totally stripped off of all clothing. Of course, genders are separated. But still... seeing another woman naked is not something I have in mind. Letting another woman see me naked is totally out of discussion.

Caption: Footstool, the office pet.

In the afternoon, I went to IKEA with mom. Dropped by at the office to see Footstool who was basking in the hot sun. Why do dogs always do that? Oh, I forgot, they could never get sunburn. Spent three hours walking in IKEA, dreaming of my Dream Home while indulging in all the designer's furniture and items. Ended my day by forcing my brother to cook dinner for me. Haha! It's about time he learnt how to fry nuggets and french fries.

As for now, it's time to pack my things for tomorrow. And prepare myself mentally for it too. When the right time comes along, I'll tell you guys what is happening tomorrow. Just waiting for the right time, right moment. Have a great weekend, people!!

Mini Bites of the day: Every day is a miracle if we allow ourselves to look at it that way.

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Working From Home

I am indulging in a fat thick creamy cheese cake right now and it's not even my favourite. Had a row with my mom earlier this morning and the conversation went like this:

Mom: Can you sweep the floor in every room?
Cmate: (but I need to work) Alright.

After sweeping the floor in every room, I got back in front of the computer. It was 10.15am, fifteen minutes past my working hours.

Mom: Can you mop the entire house too?
Cmate: (totally losing it) Just because I am working at home, doesn't mean I don't have to work; doesn't mean I can spend time doing housework. It's call WORKING you know.
Mom: Exactly, since you are working at home, can't you even spend a few minutes cleaning up the house with us?
Cmate: But I need to work. It's called DISCIPLINE.
Mom: Working doesn't make you the boss.
Cmate: Fine! I'll get out of here then. I'll go to work if that pleases you.
Mom: Fine! Pack your laptop and get lost. Go and work. Don't stay at home.
Cmate: FINE!

I stomped into the toilet, changed into my casual wear, took my laptop and was about to leave the house when I thought, "Why the heck do I have to get out to prove my point? I am working from home and work I will. Screw people who don't understand that!"

So I stayed, plugged on my laptop and sat in bed finishing up the script I promised Froggie he could have by Friday. By the time lunch hour came (which is now), the whole house is empty because it's Thursday. Mom and little brother is out for reading class in town and my sister has gone out with her friends. It feels good.

I am considering if I should cook lunch or have a grand one in the cafe nearby. All I found in the refrigerator is the cheese cake which I am scooping into my mouth at the moment. It's light and fluffy, not to forget absolutely pure fat. I can't take fat right now cause my health is starting to deteriorate. My hair is falling like crazy and I am constantly tired - just like a cancer patient.

Oh yeah, before I forget, here's wishing all the winners of Mini Bites Keychains a big CONGRATULATIONS! It's just a simple game but I am sure all of you had fun being silly with me. Hehehe! List of winners below.

1.) Just A Simple Girl (email contact needed)
2.) Elise
3.) Tonyong (email contact needed)

I better start making those keychains now. Wait, I have to wait for my sister to come home and show me where she kept all those materials. She is the craft queen in the family, I am just the elf.

Anyway, back to work. Looks like I am skipping lunch today, too lazy to go anywhere or cook anything. Though I am thinking of Adline's bento (photo below). Yes, my stomach is growling, but who cares!

Mini Bites of the day: Stand for what you believe in even if you have to stand for it alone.

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Mini Bites keychains up for grab!!

Simple Game: Spot FIVE differences in the photo, post your answers under the comments department, leave your email address or contact details, and you'll win a Mini Bites keychain! The first three persons who get the right answers would win the keychains. How does it look like? Well, wait till I gather all the materials to make it, ask my sister to help me with it, then only can snap the photo of the end product for your viewing. It's going to be exclusive, that's all I can say about it now.

Mini Bites will be celebrating its 1st Anniversary in May 2008. Yahooo! It just proves how fast time flies with each passing day. Sometimes I wish time flies faster, sometimes I wish it would never pass me by. But whatever we wish, time still continues to tick by the seconds; never slowing down or fasting its pace for anyone or everyone. Here's a short story to share with you what I mean by Time Waits For No One. Enjoy!

Prologue of my draft novel - I LOVE YOU SINCE 2004
It is said that we could never turn back the hands of time; to go back to the past we wish we could change or to seek the things we have lost. This world we live in – planet Earth the core of our life – continues to spin ever so slowly even when we stop in our tracks. We can stop living our life but we could never stop the world from moving ahead and leaving us behind. Because no one waits for someone. No one waits for us. No one waits for me.

I’ve stopped. Haven’t left this awful spot since the day I lost Jenn. If I ever thought that someone would stop and help me stand up again, I was wrong. No one has turn back to see if I was okay. They stared at the little grave which I had dug for myself, stomped on it without feeling my body buried beneath and walked straight on. It felt like I was a rock sitting by the side of the highway, seen but never acknowledged.

It was alright though; I was comfortable dwelling in my grave. It may not be deep enough to bury me, neither was it shallow as I would lay asleep in it for weeks, but it was where I could hide in the comfort of Mother Nature. The only thing that stirred me awake was the gentle touch of her fingertip across my eyelashes. Of course, she was never there when I opened my eyes. It would be another dream, another hope, another pigment of my imagination. I would pinch myself for being silly to think that it was for real, wiggle deeper into the cold damp earth and return to lullaby land.

Nope, I didn’t stop myself from dreaming of her return. Neither did I stop myself from decaying into the humid ground beneath my body. I rooted myself deeper into the soil because I knew not how to step forward. I knew not how to move on. Since the day I met Jenn, my closest friend and beloved mom, I’ve let go of the steering wheel. She was the driver and I was the passenger. It was the journey of my life but I let her take control. She led the way and I followed. Now that she was gone, I felt lost. Aimless and misplaced. I realised I have to rediscover my identity.

Mini Bites of the day: Time waits for no one and it will not wait for you.

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Alive!!

Woohoo! Can't wait for the weekend to come cause it all begins this Saturday. I am all wound up with excitement. Finally, something to look forward for, something to run after, a goal to be achieved. I love this rush of adrenaline running up my spine. I feel alive!

Alive, Alive, Alive forevermore
My spirit is Alive, Alive forever more

Alive, Alive, Alive forevermore
My spirit is Alive!

P/s: Wish I could tell you guys more but it has to wait, just in case things don't turn out the way it is supposed to. Be patient with me ya!

Mini Bites of the day: Never lose the drive of your life if you don't want to lose your spirit.

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A matter of point of view

The shower of rain that cleanses my soul,
The drama on motion box that spreads a smile upon my face,
The sentences between books that drives my writing soul;
I am now dead as I let the world crumble on me,
Yet deep inside I know my stories would not be left untold.

It’s hard to try and get someone to understand what I do not understand in the first place. It’s even harder to try and get a smart alec to know that he thinks he knows so much but in actual fact he doesn’t. It’s hard to talk with people whom have fixed minds to begin with. It’s even harder to rely on people who do not believe in you because you’d end up losing faith in your very own soul.

A friend asked me today, “Why do you let the laughters of others be your success barrier? Wouldn’t you want to choose to believe in yourself just as your ex-editor had?” Instantly I remembered the faith my ex-editor has placed in me, the confidence he had in me and the future he saw in me. I extracted a quote from him to be shared with all of you.

“Her (Gina) determination is reflected in her ability to work well under pressure, with tight deadlines and is able to work independently with not much supervision.”

At this moment, it sounds as if he is reflecting to another person, another girl. Yet the person is so familiar to me because that girl is hidden somewhere deep in my heart. I wonder why she ran off to hide because she is all I need right now.

Indeed a new week has begun. I’ve gotten a phone call today that bears good news. With this open door, I could see a more driven future in the months ahead. I hope it keeps my passion burning. I hope it keeps my engine running. Most of all, I hope it would become the drive that would pull me through this phrase of change in my life.

Mini Bites of the day: Nothing is stronger than the determination of your heart.

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No-Strings Attached

There are various types of friendships: hi-bye friends, acquaintances, good friends, close friends, best friends, intimate friends, etc. I thought I have seen it all yet lately I discovered a form of friendship in some of the people I come in contact with. It's known as No-Strings Attached friendship. It's probably the kind of friendship I don't mind having ever since the lost of certain special friends in my life.

I hate myself for being ever-so committed to friendships because a lot of times, I get hurt easily. So realising that a friendship can have no strings attached, it's like a solution to my concern that certainly puts a smile across my face. Imagine sharing everything from your deepest secrets to your hidden soul to a friend knowing that you are not committed to be accountable at all times about the things you share. Gosh, it feels good.

Sunday will end in three more hours and a new week begins (hopefully a new life too). I feel so stretched out since I quit my job as a copywriter. At the same time, it feels as if I have not moved from the very same spot since March. It's an uncomfortable feeling that I would trade for anything else.

Strangely, I think it's a matter of feeling productive and actually being productive. Oh yes, I completed a lot of freelance projects which I am totally proud of but there's a lack of productive sense in my soul and it's depressing. Like totally! Sigh... May next week be a great one for me, and you!

Mini Bites of the day: Friendship with no commitment is not a friendship at all but a bond shared within two hearts.

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Emotional Heaviness

This week has been a great emotional adventure of happiness and sadness, blissfulness and sorrow, and whatever else emotions you can think of - All because of the makeover of this stupid corner in my bedroom. Check out the photos below.

Oh yes, I've lost the breathing space of one out of four small walls that create my room. (I seriously think the room looks much smaller now) And breathing was such a hard thing as I went through my past through mementos nicely hidden beneath the pile of things. Letters which my ex-loved ones have written, the hugs and kisses tucked in physical touchable items, the (now broken) promises written in big bold letters, etc.

I am unsure if 'immune' is the word to be used to describe how it feels inside when I went through the things. It wasn't like tears were flowing down my cheeks or laughters could be heard in the air - it was plain heaviness deep inside. Suffocating heaviness. Drowning heaviness. Chest-heavy heaviness. Emotional heaviness. I simply didn't feel like doing anything but sleep all day long (to which I think Froggie wouldn't be too happy about).

Feeling heavy is something I can't reflect in my daily life this week. If my mom were to see me sitting quietly in the room just staring into space (exactly what I feel like doing at the moment), she would start blabbering again about time wastage and whatever-not. It's something I don't require considering that I am drowning with heaviness inside.

Right now, my parents are 'talking' about what to do with the table we got rid from my bedroom. The discussion never ends because different people got different view, but one truth remains: Wherever you wanna place thing, please think twice because the apartment is damn small, I am suffering from breathing space. I am too tired to get involved. Whatever will do, will do.

Anyhow, the weekend is coming to an end soon. I need to pull myself together because things aren't working out so well this week. I want to make next week a great one, a very great one. And I hope that it would be a great one for all of you too! Enjoy your weekend!

Mini Bites of the day: The harder you try to forget something, the more you would remember. So don't forget, just let the past fades away.

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Resting today...

Mini Bites of the day: Know when to stop and restore your soul because the race of life is a never ending one.

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Scars upon my soul

by Theodora Hermes

Could we sit down and talk for awhile?
Could we stop this act that we’re playing?
This act that says everything is fine
That everything is the way its always been
I feel it, you don't, but it's different
Open your eyes and see what your doing
Your words are cutting me deep
Leaving scars upon my soul

Can you walk away and just leave me?
Can we just give it all away?
I don't want to, but it might be better
If you let me go, if you release me
Of the hurtful things that bound me
Of all the lies that I've continued to believe
Your words are cutting me deep
Leaving scars upon my soul

Is it okay if I just scream for awhile?
Is it alright if I just lose it now?
I've been holding it all in for you
But I suppose it doesn't matter much now
You’re not really what you used to be
And neither, sadly, am I
Your words are cutting me deep
Leaving scars upon my soul

Mini Bites of the day: There will come a day when you will realise letting go of the ones you love is the only way to move on.

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Losing you… (I’ll make you proud)

It feels like I’ve lost my very best friend,
It seems like I’ve lost my precious jewel.
It feels like I’m losing a piece of my soul,
It looks as though you’re letting me go.
And if that’s what you want, then you’re free,
Because as long as you’re happy, I’ll be glad.

I’ll be glad to let you soar in the sky,
I’ll be glad to see you rise up high.
I’ll be glad to let you go,
As long as you’re happy,
That’s what truly matters to me.

But I really want you to know,
Just how special you are in my heart,
Because you’re the one who taught me to be myself,
You’re the one whom have helped me discover,
My true identity in God.

You were right about so many things,
It really isn’t a sin to be myself,
What more to love myself for who I am.
You’ve helped me to open up myself to myself,
And you’ve seen me going through this tough process,
Of self-discovery.

I realized that I might be losing you,
For my very own mistakes and wrong-doings.
And it is always saddening to lose,
Someone as precious as you,
Especially when you are still going to be there.

The lost is too big,
The pain too intense.
I still need to look into your eyes,
I still need to tell you my daily story.
I still need to see the smile upon your face,
And I’m definitely going to miss your laughters.
I guess I still longed for you to be part of my life.

Though our season is almost over,
But I just want you to know,
The seeds that you have sown in me
Will never be in vain.
The faith that you’ve given to me,
The good example that you’ve set,
The seeds sown deep inside my heart,
They will never be in vain.

I’ll rise up one day and be who God wants me to be,
And that would be the day when you will see,
The harvest of my life from the seeds that you’ve sown.
Then, may your heart smiles with gladness,
May your soul be filled with joy,
To see the seeds that you’ve sown,
Be harvested in my life.

Originally written by Gina Yap Lai Yoong

Mini Bites of the day: Losing someone may not be a bad thing but definitely the most painful thing.

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Random Interesting Bites

People email me funny extraordinary stuffs and I don't know what to do with them without spamming my friends. So here's spamming my blog and sharing them with you.

Mini Bites of the day: Make the ordinary extraordinary and you would realise how miraculously things work.

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Fulltime Freelancer

"What are you doing now? Your mom says you quit your job."

"How are you coping? Heard you don't really have a job now."

"Think you have time to do some work for charity? We need a writer for a brochure."

"You're spending an awful lot of time at home. Nice not having to work eh?"

Why is it weird that when I tell people I just want to dedicate my time to being a fulltime freelancer, they just laugh it off? Are they trying to say that normal people with a 9-to-5 job are the only ones who need to dedicate time to their careers? Fulltime freelancers have careers too, you know. Though technically, I am not a fulltime freelance because I am attached to a company doing internship as a scriptwriter (and every other job roles you can think of). Trust me, it's only during internship that you get to step your feet into everything and anything in an organisation.

Anyhow, the past 1.5 months have been totally weird for me in a feel-good-way. I am now a fulltime freelancer (almost, if I am not an intern with Froggie) and somehow, I feel extraordinary inside. Being in touch with the advertising industry actively, meeting new clients and cracking my head for creative Big Ideas - gosh, I almost forget how good it feels to be part of the advertising industry. I have no idea why I don't feel this excited when I was attached to (any) ad agencies during my entire career milestones. Truly, I realised, advertising is the flame of excitement in my working life.

Yesterday I was talking to my friend, Ann, who is in Finland now. She is supposed to be out of that country by September when her AuPair programme ends but she would like to stay there for a while longer because my dear friend has fallen in love. Don't we always find love at places we least expect to? We talked about careers, love and life. Then I typed a sentence into the MSN browser that surprised me as much as it did her. I said, "Career and money are not the big deals. It's how you feel every day of your life that matters."

There, I finally said it - I just want to live a happy life lying in bed writing away while being in love with people I care about. If I own a company and have to be a Creative Director for a lifetime, it isn't that bad either. Advertising would probably drive me to live a more exciting life of ideas and concepts. And I still get to tell stories through my writings because by then I should be able to afford publishing my own novels.

Darn! The realisation that advertising flows in my blood is hitting really hard at me right now. I finally realised that if I could earn a regular moderate income by being a fulltime freelancer serving the advertising industry, I would opt to be one.

Oh well! Life goes on for me - advertising or not, publishing or not, scriptwriting or not - I still have to earn a living to live. And as long as earning a living involves being in the media industry, I am happy enough to brave through the days.

As for those of you who think a fulltime freelancer means more time to serve God and contribute to the charity, I am sorry to say that you are wrong. A fulltime freelancer means dedicating more time to ensure you earn enough to feed yourself by the end of the month. Yes, I spend more time at home now but it's called working from home. So stop bothering me. I have a job to do!

Mini Bites of the day: Life is fullest when you feel happy inside day after day.

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Upgrading Life

Someone emailed me these photos and I thought the concept of this car is really good and innovative. I assume that the price would be really pricey as well since it's been creatively designed for its purpose. Which leads to the topic which I would like to touch on today: Upgrading Life. Here's the scenario to begin with:

My Statement: Almost all Malaysians are in debts.

My Rationale:
From the day we graduate from studies... Hold on, actually before we even graduate from our studies, we are already in debts. Rich or poor, most students in college/university usually take study loans from banks and the government because our parents are trying to teach us how to be independent.

Upon graduation, we get a job and start investing in 'needs' which include a car to drive around in, renting a room in the area of your office, working attires and necessity, relationship, etc. Think that's where our debt limits end? No way!

After focusing on your career, you start to think about getting married and building a family. More loan applications for the house you want to buy for your family and home. And the list goes on and on.

My Question:
I seriously think that most Malaysians would still be in debts when they take their last breath. We are spending more than what we can afford. Where did we find the courage to do so? Ask the bankers. They are good schemers.

My Prediction:
Malaysians would not be able to upgrade their life to a stress-free one, not in the next century. Yes, we have the luxury of driving big cars and living in big houses, owning a luxurious lifestyle. However, underneath the surface, all these would be gone the moment we can't make enough that month to pay the interests of our loans which is supporting our 'luxurious' lifestyle. Luxurious stress-free life? Think again. To me, subconscious stress attack is even worst than visible stress attack.

Upgrading My Life:
This would take ages long compared to my peers because I hate being in debts. Unlike my friends who would take loan after loan for their studies and car and houses, I refuse to indulge in money that don't belong to me in the first place. If I want to buy something, I'll make sure I have the money for it. Working hard and smart is the key.

Conclusion: I'll only upgrade my life when I can afford it.

I really want to know what do you guys think about this topic. Please do ponder about it and leave me a comment. It'll be great to share opinions and expand our views together.

Mini Bites of the day: Take control of what you own and let go of what you don't.

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Work DRIVES me

This week's To-Do list (updated):

1. Corporate Profile A
2. Corporate Profile B
3. Kiosk Card Campaign (6 different materials)
4. Leaflet for a type of food
5. Personal Profile
6. Two Articles
7. Event Launch (6 different materials)
8. Taglines Translation
9. Cookbook Info Gathering
10. Press Ads Proof Reading

It's Saturday, 4.00pm in the evening. I've gotten 60% of my workload off the plate after working for hours in front of the computer. Yet, the major tasks are still pretty much undone, as you can see on the list above. Writing a Corporate Profile takes a much longer time than you think because usually it's 30pages and above. Imagine 5,000words of facts and non-facts that would represent a company, its brand and personality. Quite a big responsibility for the writer, me, cause I might screw up my client's business if not written professionally.

Anyhow, my eyes are tired and my brain is slowly falling asleep. Thinking creatively takes up a lot of energy and brainjuice. With the heavy downpour outside the room, I feel like running out of the house into the heavy rain again. It would fun to be soaked wet to the skin and empty my mind for a while, but just can't do so. Too much work to risk falling sick just for the sake of releasing myself.

In a little while, I'll get to send my siblings to church for the Planetshakers concert in FGA KL. Then it's back to home for another round of working session. Am I turning into a workaholic? Maybe. But the workload is burning my passion to push myself further ahead of others. I've never felt as professional as this.

When I first graduated from college, I thought I would never be certain of what I can do for a living. But now, I know who I am as the writer and I know the authorities given to me to be exercised when meeting up with my clients. It feels good to give consultation to clients about advertising and marketing. I guess everyone feels good when they know that they are good in something and confident that they are.

Oh well, I gotta sign off now. Still have lots to do and the rain is still pouring heavily. Please don't let the lightning strike my PC or laptop. I need these to earn the daily bread and butter to live on earth. Don't you?

Mini Bites of the day: Everyone has something that would drive them to go beyond their capabilities to be successful in life; they just have to find it.

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The End

by Dev

I turn the corner, and there you are,
While we both pretend not to see the other.
We keep walking, our eyes straight ahead,
And I'm grateful, as we pass one another.

We were best friends for one year,
A year of laughter, a year of tears.
In the short time of bliss,
We had promised to be friends for years.

But those ‘years' have now been altered,
And the friendship has lasted just one.
I know that it is the end,
This is a friendship that will not be won.

You don't understand why it ended,
Or that I didn't want it to.
But sometimes in life,
You have to do what you have to do.

This was one of those cases,
I could no longer call you my friend.
I now know it can never go back,
And I have to realize, this IS the end.

It's seldom that I find a poem which could remind me of people in my life but this one does the trick. I am once again reminded of JL and the short sweet moments we shared. And I am once again determined to tell the world that this is how we ended and ended we did. So stop asking or dig out the past because the end is THE END.

Mini Bites of the day: Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do because nothing is perfect in life.

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Quick Report

Gosh, life is tiring. The work never seems to end. In fact, my workload is piling higher each day. I am beginning to feel the strains both mentally and physically. It's about time I yelp for HELP.

This week's To-Do list includes the following:

1. Corporate Profile A
2. Corporate Profile B
3. Kiosk Card Campaign (6 different materials)
4. Leaflet for a type of food
5. Personal Profile
6. Two Articles
7. Event Launch (6 different materials)
8. Taglines Translation
9. Cookbook Info Gathering
10. Press Ads Proof Reading

Not to forget that I am working on writing scripts during the day while I am at work. I can only start working on the list after 8pm each night. Three more days to go... doubt if I could complete 80% of the list. Sigh!

I should get back to work. Signing out, peeps!

Mini Bites of the day: Nothing is more horrifying than overload workloads that kills your working brain.

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According to Colorgenics...

My Personal Profile is as follow.

You are feeling exhausted, worn out, drained. You feel that far too much is being asked of you but you still want to overcome these difficulties and establish yourself despite the effect such an effort seems to have on you. You are a proud person, assertive most of the time, but at this particular moment you are acting as if you have become resigned to the situation. What you need is some tender loving care - a gentle pat on the head (or maybe a 'kick-up-the backside') and then you'll be raring to go.

You need an atmosphere of peace and quiet and you would like to share a bond of understanding with the 'right person' - you have the belief that with the right person, your stress and anxiety could be minimised.

At times all of us would like to be like the ostrich - to be able to bury our heads in the sand and let the rest of the world go by, but unfortunately you can't do just that - you have to face up to reality. A little peace and quiet would be most acceptable at this time but if only one could turn a blind eye to the problems of the day! Tomorrow is another day and who knows, it could be 'today' (not tomorrow) that could be the first day of the rest of your life!

Setback after setback has resulted in considerable stress and now you have got to the stage where you are continuously on your guard, not only to protect yourself from others but to protect yourself from yourself. It would seem that many of your unfulfilled hopes and dreams have led to uncertainty and suspicion. You no longer wish to answer to others and you are insisting on freedom of thought. You feel that you are fully self-sufficient and can control your own destiny. You are seeking ways to protect yourself from further loss of prestige and against further setbacks. You have become very dependent and you doubt that matters could possibly get any better in the immediate future and this negative attitude is leading you to exaggerate your claims and to refuse reasonable compromise.

You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences. You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference. Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material.

Let me be honest, 50% of what is being diagnosed by this Colorgenics test is true. The remaining 50% I am unsure of. But it feels good to read something that I could relate to.

Mini Bites of the day: Look deep inside and you will see that no one understands you better than yourself.

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Follow Your Dreams

You must follow your dreams
You must follow wherever it leads.
Don't be distracted by less worthy leads.
Shelter it, Nourish it, Help it grow.
Hold your dream deep, down deep where dreams grow.
Follow your dreams, Pursue it with haste.
Life is too precious, too precious to waste.
Be faithful, Be loyal in all the day through
the dream that you follow will ultimately come true.
~~ Author Unknown ~~

I kinda forget what it is like to run after my dreams because at the moment, my dreams are but a patch of blurness that blinds me from looking ahead. For one split second, I wish I was more ordinary so that I can just sit down and let life passes me by. But it's just so not me. I have dreams. My life is driven by dreams. My dreams form the person I am today and I should be glad because others couldn't seem to find a dream they could call their own.

Mini Bites of the day: Life is ordinary without dreams for a dream-driven life is one that would bring happiness into souls.

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My Favourite Top 10 Female Celebrities

Be the first to get all their names right and stand a chance to win a movie date with me! Post your answers now!

Mini Bites of the day: The most beautiful people are those who are both beautiful on the inside and outside.

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Bugging Secrets

Everyone has secrets. Some are shared with close friends, most remain known only to yourself. People often say that it is tougher to keep someone else's secrets instead of their own. It's not the same case with me. The toughest secrets to keep are those of mine which I sweep under my mattress every day. I ain't keen to dig them up daily and dwell in them, but did I tell you my secrets have legs?

Oh yes, my secrets are like bed bugs crawling out into the open when night falls and everyone is asleep. Sometimes I lay in bed and watch them crawling out to consume me. Most of the time I choose to sit on the couch next to the balcony as their shadows overwhelm me with total lost of control. I hate being powerless and weak. I hate losing control of my life. Every night, I hate being me. I'm sure you would too if you share the same secrets as mine.

Have I told anyone about them? Of course, I did. But who is there to believe me? They mocked me, laughed at me, called me a liar and then forget that I've ever told them my secrets because in the eyes of others, my secrets were fairy tales; to them my secrets are not believable. Even worst, they share my 'fairy tales' to people they come across with. I wish to them, I've never told.

Night is falling again. I could heard the little feet marching out from under the mattress. My secrets are all excited to get out of their hiding place and be exposed to the open world. I have no power to stop them, so here I am sitting on my bed waiting for them to conquer the night of my life. I take comfort that once dawn breaks in and the sun shines through the window, I'll be safe and in control of me again. With that in thought, my fear subsides.

Mini Bites of the day: No secret is a secret until you tell someone else.

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Assume Not!

It’s been almost a week since my last lengthy post. There has been a lot of thinking going on in my mind about the direction which I am heading and the life which I am living in. The most bothering thought, however, is about my presentation to others. Who am I in the eyes of the people around me? What do they see when they look into my heart?

At the moment, there’s one person who constantly step on my toes. My attempt to not take things to heart is failing for one simple reason: He has to share his assumptions about me with the entire world. People who think that they are right and everyone else is wrong, these are the ones I detest. But what I hate most is when someone converts their assumptions into statements and evangelises it to everyone they meet; It’s totally ridiculous.

Through previous relationships with people, here’s a quote that forms the backbone of me: Don’t assume what you do not know and know what you should not be assuming. Just because you don’t know something about someone with no courage to find out the truths, you shouldn’t make assumptions based on your views. Just because that someone doesn’t want to tell you something, you shouldn’t make assumptions based on your way of looking at things. It’s just unfair for the person. I feel like many have been unfair to me.

I hate the fact that while I enjoy sitting at one corner of the room observing life that people think I am being cold and not enjoying the event. The times I am silently thinking or conceptualising the subject of conversation that people think I’m not interested in talking. The most irritating so far is when people think they know what I am feeling and why I feel that way based on their assumptions. It’s my heart. You have no rights to tell me how I am feeling inside. I know best.

I am tired. Tired of people who can’t see me for who I am. Tired of people making assumptions of the person I am inside. Tired of people who act as if they believe in me, but put me down in front of others. Tired of putting up with people who paint a picture of me but distorting my identity along the way. I wish to be alone.

Please, just for a lifetime, let me be me. Let me be the phantom I want to be. Don’t tell me I know not how to smile or be happy, but let me smile for you when I feel like it. Don’t tell me I am too hard on myself about life, but let me shout ‘Woohooo!’ when I feel like rejoicing. Just like you have the rights to be who you are, I have the rights to simply be me.

Mini Bites of the day: Don’t assume what you do not know and know what you should not be assuming.

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Don’t underestimate me (When you call my name)

Don’t underestimate my love for you,
My love for you, dear friend, is ever true.
I’ll come when you call at all time.
Wherever I am, no matter how far I may be,
I’ll be there the moment you call my name.
Even if I have to brush pass the thorns of life,
Even if the mountains seem to stumble on me,
I’ll be there whenever you needed me.

Don’t underestimate what I can do for you,
I’ll go so far a length just to prove my love for you.
I’ll climb the mountains to reach out to you,
I’ll dive the oceans deep just to be with you,
I’ll drive across the nations just to be by your side.
All you gotta do is call my name, and I’ll be there for you.
I’ll come running the moment you call my name,
This I promise you, dear friend.

Don’t underestimate my feelings for you,
I love you so much, I would give up everything for you.
I’ll go through troubles just to see the smile upon your face,
I’ll go through the dangers of the world just to be with you,
I’ll do anything to brighten up your day.
At times you don’t understand why I would go such length,
Just to make you smile or be there when you cry,
But always know that, I’m there when you call my name.

Don’t underestimate me, dear friend!
I am a person who loves like such.
My friends I do not choose, because my Lord, He does,
I just obediently love those He puts in my way.
And you, my friend, you’re an angel sent by Him,
For me to bless, for me to love,
For me to give everything that I could give.
Because I know, He would want me to be there,
Whenever I hear you call my name.

Originally written by Gina Yap Lai Yoong

Mini Bites of the day: The power of love can go beyond boundaries to create extraordinary miracles every day.

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Her Without An Arm, Him Without A Leg

Ma Li and Zhai Xiaowei dancing to the song Qian Shou, composed by San Bao. Very well performed indeed. Suddenly you feel inspired to not give up on your dreams even though the journey is tough because if they can achieve their dreams, why can't you? Or why can't I?

Mini Bites of the day: The key to success is to keep pursuing.

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Smallest CPU

Cool eh? Trendy looking, convertible and displayable - I don't mind having one in my room because it's awesome. Anyway, pardon me for the constant photo blogging lately. I am so into writing my novel this week, I find myself at the lost for words when I enter my blog. It's not exactly bad because I learn to express myself visually.

Mini Bites of the day: Your butter & bread might not be the only thing you need to survive.

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